What’s This Thing?
August 19th, 2009 by Lisa
A blog. Oh yes, right. I remember now. I haven’t been very wordy lately. I think about a topic but then either I don’t get around to writing it down or I decide that it’s too personal or whatever. But all of this surface-y crap that I’ve been writing lately seems rather disingenuous and unauthentic. It’s not the “real me” (more on that another day) and it’s not the reason I started this blog several years ago.
I’ve been thinking about words that people use to describe their “plus one”… Significant other really bothers me. Does that mean that everyone else is insignificant? Also, it sounds so generic and sterile. Partner sounds as if we’re practicing law together and isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy either. Girlfriend makes me think that we’re in the 6th grade and we’re passing notes back and forth saying: Do you like me? Check yes or no. Wife? Well, I’m not married, although I can now write the words “married” and “wedding” without breaking out in hives. (Let’s just keep that between you and me for now.) That unto itself says a hell of a lot. But I digress. Lover? Well, that has a positive connotation to me as I take it as “one who loves” but I think that many people think of it in a more tawdry sense and therefore thinks that it sounds disposable.
I suppose it doesn’t really matter what word we choose to use because none of them can truly convey the full and complete meaning. Words are all that we have but sometimes they fail.
Juliet:
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
Welcome back!
I’m kind of old-fashioned I confess, but I really do like the term “beloved” myself.
I’ve struggled with that, too. I don’t like any of the words that go with the SO. Partner makes me think we’re playing Spades. I can’t say Lover with a straight face because I want to pronounce it “lovah.” Good thing I’m single, eh?
I say other half because boyfriend at 48 seems just weird. He’s hardly a boy and we’ve been together for 12 years. I agree w/ you on significant other, and partner. And lover seems temporary.
You are also right in that it doesn’t matter. Saying that, I live a pretty unconventional life, so sometimes it’s nice to put it in conventional terms.
I have this horrible rash – I thinks it’s because I used the term “fiance” way too much. Ha.
I agree with you – all those words just don’t do it. Maybe you should have a contest to see if someone can come up with a good word!
I could’ve written what G wrote. Too true!
How did Paul Child phrase it? The breath to my life?
I like Janet’s answer!
welcome back……
I am rather partial to my “tsi” (pronounced chee).
Good to see you back, your posts always seem to hit a reflective chord with me. Not to mention that your photos are so inspiring.
…welcome back
A good point. The terms lover, soul mate, best friend have been used by my married friends to describe their husbands and wives. That is cool. Too often, we over-think things. A great post, Lisa!
I like Michael’s “beloved,” but it congers up visions of the novel by Toni Morrison. In a way I like companion, but it sounds like you’re an invalid and someone is taking care of you. Sometimes words fail us, but the feeling of finding someone and loving and being loved is beyond compare… I’m so happy for you!
So happy you are back. And whatever you call her, I’m just glad you have someone special in your life. You and yours deserve every bit of happiness!!
It’s funny, eh?
I lived with my first husband for four years before we got married. “Boyfriend” wasn’t the right word … “lover” in a small town wasn’t happening … “partner” wasn’t used then.
Gord and I met and married within six months so that made it easy to have a term for him.
Exactly the reasons I sometimes take long vacations from blogging. It becomes artificial and loses what the writing books call “voice.” Right now I am content to be scatty online and not worry about it. I missed you and a few others. I have watched your blog evolve, you know. Julia